A Fab Chick's True Confessions

Hi, my name is Misha and I'm an emotional shopper.

When I'm happy, I want to shop. When I'm sad, I want to shop even more - and this is the problem. In some odd way, shopping has been a stress reliever for me. Or has it?

As long as I can remember, I've always loved to shop. I don't know one female that doesn't enjoy the adventures of shopping.

Who doesn’t enjoy the thrill of scoring that awesome dress on sale and finding the perfect shoe to go with it, in just the right shade for the season?

Or how about casually sifting through sales racks to find a DVF dress that you’ve coveted at 50% off? Those shopping adventures are to die for! Wouldn’t you agree?

But when I'm emotionally distraught, I immediately grab my wallet, pull out my credit card, place it strategically between the home row keys and head to my favorite online shops to see what I can buy to make myself feel better.

What triggers my need to shop? Frustration with my career, strife among friends and family, my rollercoaster of a love life...I think you get the idea.

Sadness has driven me to the malls. Sadness has driven me to Bloomingdales.com. Sadness has driven me to hop on the train into the city to walk the streets of SoHo. Sadness has driven me to buy little doses of happiness in the forms of shoes, earrings, dresses, books, make-up, you name it. If it catches my eye and I have a place for it in my home, I buy it.

This weekend sadness drove me to the Gap, Saks, Borders and Free People.com. Here’s a tiny bit of what I bought:
Sigh. None of which were major purchases.

But the reality is, when I get home most of the time that sadness is still there. After I've emotionally shopped until I’ve dropped (or spent my limit) I am, of course, still down. I'm a Fab Chick, so I know that shopping will not drive away whatever is bothering me but I still do it.

Sounds like I need to sit on Aunt Oprah’s couch or call in to Cousin Suze Orman’s show.

Yes, I've watched countless episodes of talk shows about women and their bouts with emotional shopping. I've read Suze Orman‘s books including Young, Fabulous, and Broke. But I still do it. I still shop emotionally.

Like many addicts, I rationalize my behavior to make it acceptable. I say:

Misha, it's okay that you shop, you work in fashion. Shopping is your thing after all.

Or I give myself emotional shopping budgets so I don't interfere with saving and paying my bills. I refuse to buy big-ticket items. I usually save those for the happy shopping moments. I’ll say too:

No Starbucks for 3 days out of the week.
Ha! As if that really works. I still end up with a Grande Café Mocha everyday, sometimes two. Silly, right?

Fab Chick Tip: A great way to save is to have a percentage of your pay every period deposited directly to your savings account so you don't see it, and won't budget it in with you weekly wages and expenses. Out of side out of mind.

When I'm in the moment it always makes sense to me. There’s nothing silly about it when I’m in need of an emotional fix. But after I come home and settle into my new digs, it never makes as much sense as it did when I was making the purchase. But I always laugh and shrug it off.

Hey, I like what I bought so whatever. My bills are getting paid so who cares?

Well, in all honesty, I do care. I'm aware of the dangers of emotional shopping, which is why I do give myself limitations. But the fact of the matter is, it’s not healthy and it’s not a trait any Fab Chick should have. I should not be hiding behind my issues by making rash purchases, no matter how small.
I do plan to conquer this. Yup, one day I will not be an emotional shopper. Frankly, I don't want to be. Just being a Fab Chick that loves to look great and buy nice things on occasion is enough of an expense. Wouldn’t you all agree? And besides, I don't want this emotional shopping to ever put me in a financial hole. Borrowing from my 401K is not an option. I do intend to retire fabulously one day!

I think I’ll do some research first. I’m sure there are tons of books on emotional shopping. I think I’ll start there. My best bud is a great person to hash out my problems with. Perhaps leaning on him as my support system will help a bit. Since I already give myself an emotional shopping spending limit, maybe I should decrease my limit and increase the amount I put into my savings account.

While I work out my issues and try to get this emotional shopping under control, let’s hope I don’t move on to emotional eating. Lord knows I don’t want to lose my size 0 figure.

Am I the only one struggling with this? Are you an emotional shopper too? Tell me, what purchases give you fleeting moments of happiness?


La:Dolce:Vita Fashion Fix 13.4.10  

OMG this post was so good, so real and so honest. I know you said you read all the books but I am reading something right now that has helped me so much. It's Living The Truth by Dr. Keith Ablow.. Shopping too much, over eating, excessive drinking are all cover-ups for serious underlining problems in our past. I don't mean to get all psych on you but we all have our things. You should check it out. Great post.

Opé - Style Artist 20.4.10  

Hey Miss Misha!
I missed you too sis. ;-)
I am on a self imposed Twitter prison term of no less than a week off. lol!
I never had this problem but so many people can relate and I have seen it happen. We must learn the most important lesson of all. Discipline.
Have an awesome day lady!